Collection Of Rubee's Ashes

I received a call from Mount Pleasant Hospital (Springside branch) this afternoon. Rubee's ashes are ready for collection - the sombre words came out slowly and for that moment, tears welled up in my eyes.

My Rubee is finally coming back home....

The initial two days after his passing were torturing and painful as i asked myself if i have done the right thing by giving the permission to end his canine life. Accepting the reality that he is no longer around is also not an easy task.

A lot of trees (literally) were killed while composing the entry you see here; there were just too many pictures and too much memories of this naughty little shihtzu in the past ten over years.

Burying myself with work seems like the best way for me to get out of this depressive mood and i am glad i did. Work occupies my mind and i could not spare any time to think of Rubee.

But i do miss him terribly at night as i see an empty spot he usually occupied on my mattress.

I miss patting him to sleep, i miss the feel of his fur around my fingers as i slowly massaged him, i miss hugging him whenever he gave a cold shiver, i miss the wet patch of saliva he sometimes left on my bed...

Therefore i am really happy to collect his ashes today.

It feels like he is finally coming home after a long yet victorious stay in a hospital. It's somewhat comforting and even soothing to have him back in the house again.

Even if it is just a pile of bones.

To tell you the truth, i don't think i will be afraid if i ever hear a bark or feel his presence at home. In fact, i really wish he can appear some times and play with me as he always did when he was much healthier...